


to be with you

by ohmyjun



Series: 31 days of halloween [10]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: 31 Days Of Halloween, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, Guardian Angels, Heavy Angst, M/M, Past Character Death, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyjun/pseuds/ohmyjun
Summary: Myungjun is nothing without Jinwoo.





	to be with you

**Author's Note:**

> [_31 days of halloween challenge:_](http://ohmywjh.tumblr.com/post/165923694357/31-days-of-halloween) day 10 - near death experiences

Myungjun stares below him, eyes trained on the sidewalk.

He debates whether to take the step or not, thoughts scattered to the wind.

There isn’t much holding him here anymore. Jinwoo is gone, the cancer taking him a month or two before. Myungjun doesn’t know, he lost all awareness of time and places when Jinwoo left.

Still, he isn't sure if he should give everything up and go to Jinwoo. There are some people who would miss him and Myungjun doesn't want to put them what Jinwoo put him through.

But still.

The world holds no reason without Jinwoo.

Myungjun is aware of the people pointing up at him, of the firefighters who are yelling at him through their megaphones, urging him to step away and come down safely, but he doesn't care. They're not Jinwoo.

Jinwoo is gone.

"Hey, big guy."

Myungjun looks to his right, none too startled when he finds Jinwoo sitting there, feet kicking in the air. His hair is the same dark brown, eyes still holding the stars in them. Myungjun's knees go weak and he clutches at the edge of the building, tears blurring his vision.

"JinJin," Myungjun sobs.

Jinwoo smiles at him, softly and sadly and it's like Myungjun's heart has broken all over again.

"Hey, baby," Jinwoo murmurs, tears of his own beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to leave you."

Myungjun sobs louder, his entire body shaking. "I miss you. I miss you so much. I don't want to do this without you, Jinnie."

Jinwoo sniffles, uselessly wiping his tears away. "You have to. I'm sorry, baby, but you have to. You still have a lot to live for. Don't throw it all away for me. I'm not worth it."

"You're worth it," Myungjun vehemently denies. "You're worth everything to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you."

Jinwoo smiles again, still as soft and sad as before. "You'll learn. Don't worry. I'll be looking over you to make sure you do, but you need to step away from this edge and go back inside. Don't do this, please."

"Is that why you're here?" Myungjun struggles to ask. "Because I'm going to die and you're here to prevent that?"

Jinwoo nods, fighting back a sob as Myungjun continues to cry, his gaze flickering from Jinwoo to the street below them and back. It's a long drop and Jinwoo doesn't want this. He wants Myungjun happy, wants him living the life he'd planned to have and striving, being successful _without_ Jinwoo.

"Will I see you again?" Myungjun asks, voice raspy and heavy with held back sobs. "If I don't jump, will I see you again?"

"Yes. I don't know when, but you will. Please don't do this, Myungjun," Jinwoo pleads, standing up now.

Myungjun watches him, still crying and heart aching for his one true love, but if Jinwoo doesn't want him to do this, then he won't. He'll do anything Jinwoo asks of him.

"Okay. Can you help me? I don't...I don't know if I can move," Myungjun whispers, another sob wracking his chest as Jinwoo smiles and nods, taking hold of Myungjun in his arms.

They make it back to the window Myungjun had climbed out of and Jinwoo helps him back inside where someone is banging on Myungjun's front door. It's their old apartment, remembrances of Jinwoo's old life still scattered throughout it. It hurts to be here, to be this close to Myungjun but not have him. He wants it back, all of it, anything to be with Myungjun again and to see him rise another day to fight through life.

But he guesses that watching from afar until it's his time will have to do for now.

"I love you," Myungjun says as the knocking continues on his door. "I love you so much. I miss you, baby."

"I know," Jinwoo cries, reaching out to caress Myungjun's cheek. "I love you more than words can say. I miss you with my everything, but you have to promise to move on, to go on with your life, without me."

Myungjun sniffles. "I don't know if I can."

"You can," Jinwoo says. "I know you can and I'll be watching you every step of the way. Remember that."

Myungjun leans in to kiss him, but by then, Jinwoo is gone and his door has been kicked in by a firefighter.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry...


End file.
